best funny inspirational quotes United State s| thefunquotes

BEST TOP 30 FUNNY INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that. – Ellen Degeneres

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
-Zig Ziglar

When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’
-Sydney Harris

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
-Lily Tomlin

If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.
-Marie Osmond

If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. -Frank Zappa

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.
-Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there. -Josh Billings

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
-Charles Schulz

Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.
-Napoleon Hill

I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess. -Cassandra Duffy

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. -Robert Frost

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. -Dave Barry

14. “I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

15. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley

16. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz

17. “When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” – Sydney Harris

18. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost

19. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” – Robert Bloch

20. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese

21. “When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best – that is inspiration.” – Robert Bresson

22. “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.” – George Carlin

23. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.” – Dr. Seuss